8/18

The US Men’s basketball team continued their Olympic dominance by blitzing Germany 106-57. US center Dwight Howard led all scorers with 22 pts. Forward Colonel Klink had 16 for the Germans, while Sergeant Shultz pulled down 11 rebounds.

Chinese gymnast He Kexin, who’s birth certificate shows she could be as young as 14, won a controversial tiebreaker against American Nastia Liukin for the uneven bars gold medal. Kexin dedicated the victory to her new boyfriend, R. Kelly.

Jessica Mendoza hit a pair of two-run homers and the U.S. Olympic women’s softball team ran its winning streak to 17 with a 7-0 win over Japan. With little time to rest, the US team then beat Canada 8-1 in a make up game that was delayed by rain on Thursday. Despite the blowout, the Americans showed tremendous sportsmanship by French kissing the entire Canadian team after the game.

In equestrian, a British competitor was disqualified when he shot and killed a fox.

His record Olympic run now completed, Michael Phelps celebrated his new status as an American sports role model by shooting up a Beijing nightclub and starting an illegal dog-fighting ring in his dorm room.

The BB medal count.

US – 77
China 76
GBR -32
Brazil – 6
Jamaica – 4
Turkey – 3