Last night was the Olympic closing ceremonies, and it did not disappoint. Not to be outdone by the pageantry of lighting of the Olympic Torch, the Chinese extinguished it with equally astonishing verve, snuffing out the symbolic flame by throwing 10 Tibetan Monks on it. And a few hundred CGI fireworks later, it was all over.

In my opinion, it was the greatest Olympics ever, even better than the 1920 games in Antwerp.

It was an Olympics where a China didn’t let the fact that their team was a good two to three years from puberty stop them from winning 6 medals in women’s gymnastics. And where the most popular competitor’s name was Wang. There were Wangs all over the place. Wangs in the pool, Wangs in the high jump pit, Wangs all over the wrestling matt, even a Wang on a horse. It was a total Wangfest.

It was an Olympics where the US men’s basketball team showed there is no “I” in team, but there are two “U”s in U.S. Fucking A. The Americans used uncharacteristic teamwork to return to the gold medal stand for the first since 2000. And now they can return to being the fan-punching, coach-choking, over-paid, ball hogging hot doggers we pay 150 bucks a ticket to see not play the snooze fest that is the International style of basketball.

It was an Olympics where the women’s team sports like softball and soccer were appropriately only broadcast on NBC’s boring, less hot sister network MSNBC.

It was an Olympics where swimmer Michael Phelps and sprinter Usain Bolt captured gold in every race, captured the world’s attention, and insured that the popularity of their respective sports in America will someday reach the dizzying heights of soccer.

And it was an Olympics where we saw a Hungarian weightlifter snap his arm like a sapling. And a Cuban taekwando martial artist intentionally kick a ref in the face. It’s moments like this that help us appreciate how fucking awesome YouTube is.

And now that it’s all done, we’ll miss it. We’ll miss cherishing moments that actually happened 12 hours ago. We’ll miss NBC running ad nausea both the Michael Phelps wins and the promos for that shitty new Christian Slater show that will probably get cancelled during its first commercial break.

We’ll miss softball as it makes it’s final appearance as an Olympic sport. Bad news for the International Softball Federation, but good news for anyone looking for a high school gym teacher.

We’ll miss the totally bonkers Bela Karoli’s maniacal nonsensical ramblings. But don’t fret, we’ll see him again in the fall when he returns to his job of being Paula Abdul on American Idol.

And we’ll miss the erotic dance that is men’s competitive ping pong.

But most of all, we’ll miss the Chinese. Despite all their fake fireworks, fake little girls, weather control machines and window dressing, I am glad their super power debutante ball was a big success. America is better off when we have a worthy opponent on the world stage. It reminds me of when we used to knock heads with the Soviets. The Chinese are a formidable frenemy, a Kobe to our Shaq, A Frazier to our Ali, a Slater to our Zack Morris. And this new rivalry will make the world a more interesting place.

And so now, we pass the torch onto London. A warm and welcoming place where the sun always shines and where knives are only used to stab Britain’s world-renowned cuisine. An outgoing, affectionate and humble people, who’s bright, perfectly straight white smiles will welcome all creeds, colors and classes. A country who’s own Queen , Elizabeth II won a bronze medal in Greco Roman wrestling at the 1952 Helsinki Games.

See you in 2012.

The Final BB medal count.

USA – 110
China – 100
Britain – 47
Jamaica – 20
Brazil – 15
Turkey – 8